If Looks Could Kill Youd Already Be Compost Plate Vintage Crackpottery with stand
£17.00 GBP
Sale price
£17.00 GBP
Regular price
For the silently furious, the politely homicidal, and anyone who smiles through gritted teeth. A floral little threat disguised as home décor — because murder’s illegal but glaring is free.
🍽 The Plate
Size: 16cm, perfect for biscuits, trinkets, or plotting
Genuine vintage crockery, rescued and upcycled with murderous charm
Hand-finished in the UK by The Crackpottery, specialists in decorative hostility
⚠️ Please Note
For display only, not suitable for food or dishwasher
Each plate is vintage and unique, much like your grudges
🎁 Perfect For
Colleagues you tolerate
Exes you’ve out-evolved
Friends who understand that “bless your heart” is a threat in disguise
Because revenge is temporary, but porcelain is forever.
FOUND & SOURCED.
Altered by hand
DEEPLY INAPPROPRIATE
Styled With
Materials
Vintage finds, bad language and whatever fresh nonsense occurred to me that morning.
Care
Treat gently. Hand wash where appropriate. Some things are irreplaceable, unlike your ex.
Details
Professionally inappropriate. Socially questionable. Surprisingly well made.